Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one.

But I've learned that some stink a lot more than others.

So I just came back from Cuba. One full week in Cuba at a all-inclusive resort. Great beaches, warm water, big waves, nice people (but dirt poor), good cigars, shitty food. Did I mention the shitty food?

REMIND ME NEVER TO GO ON A ALL-INCLUSIVE AGAIN!

But about the music. Just because you are known for your latin rhythms doesn't mean that they have to be used in every piece of music ever does it? And I mean everything single thing that I heard had the same sound. Even the new hip stuff being shown on MTV-Latina, which actually plays music videos strangely enough. But one song that got played at poolside everyside has lyrics as follows:

Why don't you come, come, come, come?
Why don't you come inside of me?
I want to you come.
Come, come, come inside.
Then we will come.
When you come inside of me.

I'm not sure what it means. Those crazy Cubans.

"This world would be a lot better off if everyone was as smart as I are." -Tony O.

I stole this from everything2.com:

Dissed by a Five Year-Old


There was a fateful night one time when my best friends, Colin and Randy, were playing Illuminati with me, while Colin's son, Gabe (the same one from A Child's View of the Army) was watching The Tigger Movie. Times were hard then, I had been out of work for about 3 months, and my love life was non-existant. As is the usual custom of our games, Colin and Randy would gang up on me and I would act dejected and depressed (it wasn't a far stretch, actually). I began speaking in the Eeyore voice.

"Okay, with Randy's megabucks and my CIA, I successfully take Evil Geniuses for a Better Tomorrow from you." Colin would proclaim cheerfully.

"Thank's for noticin' me..." I'd say in that gravelly depressed sounding voice.

Now Gabe is very adamant when it comes to certain things. One of which is that when a movie is on, you're not supposed to talk. Much less, you're not supposed to talk like one of the main characters. So he turned around and shushed me.

"What'd I do?" I said.

"You're not supposed to talk like Eeyore during the Tigger Movie!" he exclaimed angrily.

"Why not?" I said, still in Eeyore-voice. This made Gabe furious, he repeated his demand several times. It was fun watching the little tyke get so riled up about something so trivial.

My mistake. To a five year-old, nothing is trivial. He finally stood up and turned around to face me, fists clenched so tight the knuckles looked like they were glowing. You could see his battle aura building up. He screwed his face up into a scowl and pointed, shouting...

"You've got no kids, no wife, no job, and you're not in The Tigger Movie!!!

I just stood there, agape. Randy burst out laughing so hard he cried. I just looked at the floor flushed with humiliation. Colin tried valiantly to keep a straight face, but all he could manage to say was "Gabe!" before cracking up.

Randy paused only long enough to shout "Oh man, you were totally dissed by a five year-old!" then collapsed into giggle-fits before adding "...even I'm in the Tigger Movie!" which, incidently, he wasn't... but then he had a job.

It was the ultimate insult. It was bad enough to be one of the only unmarried bachelors left in my group of friends. I didn't mind so much about not having kids. The job part hurt. But adding insult to injury, I was not in the Tigger Movie.

His precious silence regained, broken only by the occasional gasp of air by Randy, Gabe resumed watching his movie. Colin and I stared at the floor for a while and eventually put up the game. Yes, my friends, a five year-old child managed to come up with the most debasing insult I have ever had in my life.

It is my sincerest hope that the child someday uses his powers for good.

Today is my birthday. And I know a little bit more about whether I'm back in the music biz. But it's like reading a magic 8-ball. So I'll wait and see.

Nov 4th 1993, almost 10 years ago, I sat in front of a 486 with 4 phone lines and turned on the Nettwerk BBS for the first time. Terry, Ric, Marc, Ralph and everyone was there to see what would happen. And some kid from New York called in, he had been trying for 3 days already. Everyone was so excited, we did a online chat with him till his parents sent him to bed. It was the beginning of a new age and a new career for me. The label was just a ragtag bunch then. It was fun. I never told anyone it was my birthday.

On another birthday a few years before my buddies had all come to Saskatoon to celebrate with me. It was a cold wintery day and we all were taking the city bus downtown to buy beer. I realized at the bus stop that I had forgotten my wallet. I ran back to my apartment (which had a shower and toilet in a closet behind the fridge) and then ran back to the bus stop. Only to see my friends waving at me from the bus as it pulled away. I was pissed.

Then a cab pulls up and the cabbie yells at me to get in the car. I tell him I can't afford a cab. He says get in anyway and we proceed to chase down the bus and he pulls in front of the bus to force it off the road. I thank him for the ride and tell him it's my birthday and he's earned some great karma. I get on the bus, pay my fare and say to the bus driver "Don't do that again".

As I had suspected. Nothing. More waiting. More meetings without me about me and more paperwork and more waiting.

The hour late conference call lasted 3 minutes.

To find out I still know nothing.

wait, wait, wait.

Sitting here at 2:17pm waiting for a conference call that was supposed to be at 1:30pm. Waiting to see what I will be told. Waiting to see if I'm going to be working in the music biz again.

Or is it back to washing dishes for this cowboy?

Time will tell.

wait, wait, wait, wait....