Tuesday, September 30, 2003

I remember when I was little my dad used to bring home chocolate bars every second friday. I couldn't figure out why it was every second friday but obviously now I know: PAYDAY! LOL. He'd bring all different ones and the smallest kid got to pick first so me and my brother always got shafted with the shitty chocolate bars but it was still pretty cool. It sucked big time when that tradition stopped. I'm not sure if they ran out of money or we got too old...
I could tell from the back of her head she was smiling.

Monday, September 29, 2003

So I guess that's what it's like to wash out your mouth with soap.

The gastrointestinal effects of my initial taste test were minimal, except for violent eruptions of gas throughout the night. These deep tuba notes were completely odorless (perhaps they had been washed clean), but almost disturbingly loud. One honk of the trombone, which occurred at 3:00 am, was so noisome that it actually roused my wife from a deep slumber. "Cut it out," she mumbled, then rolled over and went back to sleep.
I'm a 33 year old black magician. Magic is my primary interest. Most of my time and money goes to it, by far.

I was what many people would consider a magical prodigy. I was summoning demons to visible apparition before I was out of elementary school. It killed at least two before I managed to figure out how to bind it.

No one taught me, I taught myself.

I can raise storms virtually at will. My tarot readings are close to 95% accurate and very specific. I can summon some remarkably fierce beings. Peers have described me as the Picasso of curses and hexes. And I have done things much more astounding, which literally have to be experienced to be believed.

I have bathed in blood for magic. I have fasted for weeks for magic. I occasionally perform rituals which require standing in silence and stillness for 24 hours.

And it is not enough. As far as I see it, I am a novice. I have accomplished a few things, yet I have a long list of things yet to do before I am satisfied.

Just the same, I have a library of close to a thousand books on magic, of every kind. I have read most of them many times. I have memorized a few.

Think what you may of my abilities, but no one can dispute my seriousness.

I was the first person on the Internet to establish major web resources and mailing lists dealing with black magic. I am the founder of necronomi.com. Before that I ran The Familiar Spirit BBS for three years. I am a noted contributor to the alt.satanism FAQ and the principal editor is a close friend of mine.

I've been featured or quoted in New York Magazine, the New York Post, Paper Magazine, Time Out New York, and (supposedly) in the New York Times. And I'm probably forgetting a few others.

In the magical community I choose my friends selectively and prefer to socialize online these days. Considering who and what I am, it should not surprise you that I am a misanthrope. Many of the most credible writers on magic who do so primarily over the Internet know me on a first name basis and consider me their peers.

I hate to brag, but you ticked me off.

If you must call me something, call me an asshole. I'll wear it with pride.

Friday, September 26, 2003

"Simply Irresistible"

Singer Robert Palmer dies at 54

Someone somewhere is thinking.

Yes, they are all out to get you.

Thursday, September 25, 2003

The day after the storm
I didnt leave the house at all
They assumed from the lack of prints in the snow
That I had been away for some time
But I was upstairs

And I couldn't hear them
With my headphones on, recording a song
They broke my windows
And walked inside, beneath me as I played on
Unaware of what was going on

As my song began to fade
I heard whispering and then I couldn't breath
They were walking up the stairs
Towards me as I looked for somthing to try and scare them away
And I couldn't find shit
So I grabbed my bass guitar by the neck and held it above me
And hid by the top of the stairs and thats where I was found
5 days after I hit the ground

"Bass Song" by Hayden
Nietzsche: "God is dead."
God: "Nietzsche is dead."

Wednesday, September 24, 2003

Every 2nd blog has a post saying "sorry for not blogging in so long".

As a verb, "blogging" sucks.

Wednesday, September 17, 2003

My dog just farted while licking herself, and she got all mad at her own ass, all barking and growling at it.
The other day, my dad calls me and unintentionally reminds me there is always a master and a student. He told me this story:

Yesterday I got a phone call from a telemarketer, and I thought you'd appreciate this.

Hello, this is Alicia, she said, and I'm calling from--

I could tell she was a telemarketer right away, so I said: "Alicia?"

Yes? she replied. Then, in my creepiest voice, I said:

...what are you wearing?

Four full seconds of dead silence later, she hangs up the phone.
Flaming Lips, Rufus, Avril Join Hands For New Comp

You can see the pitch meeting for this one. Rows of severely-tanned gentlemen in matching suits. A sun-drenched California visible for miles (if it wasn't for that damn smog) outside the high-rise windows. The rows of men (and women) gazing intently as two dweebs armed with Magic Markers and posterboard scribble furiously. The gawkers stammering and pontificating as cell phones tremble and whine.

This is the type of album that makes you cringe. Somewhere a group of horribly powerful people are combining the best of "pop music," "adult contemporary," and "indie rock" (for that special zing!), packaging it and attempting to release it on the public for mass consumption by intelligent-music deprived legions. Merry Christmas everybody! Here's your "musically diverse" compilation album, its a real winner! Yes it's become readily apparent that the Flaming Lips will DO ANYTHING. This includes (but is not limited to) special appearances at jamband festivals, 90210, and the "damn, who'd a thought i'd ever get tired of this beautiful fucking song" regurgitation of "Do You Realize?" on VH1 commercials.

Yes, I watch VH1. "I Love The 70's" is monumentally good television.

Anyways.

The comp is entitled Maybe This Christmas Too, and yes folks its the sequel to last year's Maybe This Christmas. The album features tracks by Barenaked Ladies, Rufus Wainwright, Guster, Damien Rice, Dave Matthews Band, Rilo Kiley, Badly Drawn Boy, and Avril Lavigne with Chantal Kreviazak (whom I had never heard of but my girlfriend thinks is hot shit). The Flips provide a cover of Bing Crosby's immortal holiday classic, "White Christmas".

The album is due in stores November 4th.

Bah Humbug.

The tracklisting for this monstrosity is:

1. Rufus Wainwright - 'Spotlight on Christmas'
2. Eisley - 'The Winter Song'
3. Avril Lavigne and Chantal Kreviazik - 'O Holy Night'
4. Rilo Kiley - 'Xmas Cake'
5. Damien Rice and Lisa Hannigan - 'Silent Night'
6. Guster - 'Donde Esta Santa Claus?'
7. Be Good Tanyas - 'Rudy'
8. Dave Matthews Band - 'Christmas Song'
9. Oh Susanna - 'Go Tell It on the Mountain'
10. Barenaked Ladies - 'Green Christmas'
11. Martina Sorbera - 'It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year'
12. Badly Drawn Boy - 'Donna and Blitzen'
13. The Flaming Lips - 'White Christmas'
14. Sixpence None the Richer - 'It Came Upon a Midnight Clear'


(Article from http://www.tinymixtapes.com/)

Well....I know of at least 3 people that were in the room when they came up with this. I guess Coldplay doesn't believe in Xmas or Dave wasn't invited to the meeting. I make videogames not music now, and I feel slightly less foolish after reading this.

Tuesday, September 16, 2003

Menieres Disease

It's official, I got it. It's chronic, uncureable and eventually means I'll be deaf. Not to be too dramatic, it can be controlled with diet and medication. No salt, sugar, no coffee, NO BOOZE!

Maybe I'll drink myself to deaf.