"Honestly I do not think that I become would shit received ever enough by this. Away to jolly man. Away to jolly." - Gil (again)

Gil's Mystery Blog

Gil, you are one quotable motherfucker!

Away to jolly!

"It is made joke issuing together this time and hope I that we receive to make it again sometime." - Gil (translated back into english)

Gil's Mystery Blog

There is a girl upstairs who applies her black eyeliner pencil after setting fire to it with a Bic lighter so that it "melts onto the skin and stays longer

I could actually feel my intestines rearranging afterwards.

You know what I like? What I really enjoy?

The men's restroom right by my office space has 2 urinals and 1 stall.

It makes my day when I go in there and it's empty. I love that.

And then I can piss in peace.

You see, I have a shy bladder.

I don't think it's very photogenic either.

How to Good-Bye Depression: If You Constrict Anus 100 Times Everyday. Malarkey? or Effective Way?@Everything2.com

I'm sitting here at my desk listening to the new Radiohead album that isn't supposed to be released yet. Ah the wonders on the Internet. The band is a little pissed cause they say that what I'm listening to is just rough mixes. I do feel for them that their control of music is lost. I'd hate that too. But dam it's a nice album.

The sun is shining, I'm in love, there's champagne in the fridge.

A new age is dawning, the summer is almost here.

I'm happy. And trust me, you don't hear me say that very often. But fuck, life is good.

I blame Debbie :-)

Jeroboam (Founder and first king of Israel, 931-910 BC)
Rehoboam, son of Solomon (King of Judah, 922-908 BC)
Methuselah (Biblical patriarch who lived to the age of 969)
Salmanazar (King of Assyria, 859-824 BC)
Balthazar (Regent of Babylon, son of Nabonide, 539BC)
Nebuchadnezzar (King of Babylon, 605-562 BC).

These are my new Gods. I hope to be able to worship each and every one at least once in my lifetime.

The Truth about my new Gods

“Life is like a crap sandwich. The more bread you got, the less crap you gotta eat.”

I thought there were hell hounds on my trail. It had me worried.

Turned out it was just gas.

Whew. Close one.

I got a girlfriend, she's better than that
And nothing is better than this
(Is it?)
-Talking Heads

Bite my ass. Being childfree means you get a life full of freedom and extra cash. You don't have to be a dick about it too.
The Story About the Baby, Volume 30.

Essential Albums PT 4
1) "All About Me" - Me
2) "I'm Cool" - Myself
3) "We are Better Than You" - Me and My Friends
4) "My Talent Has No Bounds" - Self
5) "Dam, You're Too Good" - Everyone Else
6) "Ahead of My Time" - I and I
7) "We Rock the Harderest" - Us Rock
8) "My Music is Better than Your Music" - Me, Me and Me
9) "You Just Don't Get it Do You?" - Smarter Than You
10) "Greatest Polka Hits" - Weird Al Yankovic

"I used protection. Unfortunately the condoms I have left are these horrible fruit-flavored party-colored things so it stank like hot blueberry fuck in here."

i. If someone has different personal tastes from me, I must convince them to like the things I like.

ii. If someone else makes different choices regarding how they spend their time, those choices (and, indirectly, the person) are inferior.

So due to an unintended redirection my wife-to-be found my blog. She always asked to read it, but I refused just to be a little brat.

So now she reads my blog.

But I refuse to curtail any information that I might have written before.

Like that time she was really drunk and I asked her and she said "I never done that before, but maybe just this once" and I ran from the bedroom to the garage to get the...

...maybe I will hold back just a little.

I LOVE YA BABE!

"The willingness to risk excess on behalf of one’s obsessions is what distinguishes artists from entertainers and what makes some artists adventurous on behalf of us all."

John Updike - October, 1962

“Weird, but in a good way.”

I think it was my friend Jill who first coined this phrase to describe me. It was the first year in which we met while going to school in Saskatoon. That was over ten years ago. I’ve since tried to live up to that. No wait! I just typed that sentence and realized it is a total lie. I’ve never tried to live up to that, I’ve just continued to be me. Do I live up to it? That’s for someone else to decide. It’s simply another person’s observation of me. But I think I know what it describes, deducting from what I’ve been told by friends who say it.

I like things. I like ideas. But moreover, I like new. And I like different. So if it’s a new and different thing or idea, I like it. And different sometime equates to weird. Sometimes these things are something I might wear. Sometimes these ideas are the way I might think. Things I own, things I do, things I say, might be weird to someone else. OK, I can understand that.

Onto the second half of the sentence, why is it in a good way? Again, it’s subjective (do I use a lot of apostrophes or what? that’s just weird :-). But from what I am told, it’s because it can be appreciated or at least understood. People look at the “weird” and can easily understand why I like it, or even like it themselves. They say “That’s so you.” I guess they can see where I’m coming from, what I’m thinking. And I’ve created a sort of communication with them. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying I’m the king of cool, this isn’t me blowing my own horn. A lot of people just call me “freak” and shake their heads (my black kilt being a perfect example).

But most people get it. I show them some weird new thing I’ve made, bought or discovered and they say, “I can see why you like that.” Some even like the same things I do, which is fun. Or even better is when they give me a gift that reminded them of me and my “weird”. That is of the highest honor that a friend could bestow upon me. The most memorable being when my Mother gave me a Gumby and said “I bought this for you cause it’s bent and twisted like you.” I guess the leaf doesn’t fall far from the tree.

Smile.

So I was balls deep in the guy's ass that night when he turns to me and asks for a kiss. Damn. What a fag.

Cirque du Soleil

Sometimes good things happen. I've seen Mystere and "O" already. But I presently have tickets to see "O" in Vegas again after being married in June and I just bought tickets to see "Alegria" in Vancouver in July.

Run on sentence? Yes I am rambling happily!

"It was a total disaster from the start. Being in love with someone in that extreme way - being physically obsessed by someone - is like having some dreadful disease. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy."

-Francis Bacon

Blind Date Pronounces Every Syllable Of Word 'Comfortable'

INDIANAPOLIS—In what Melissa Mathis, 30, termed "a deal-breaker," blind date Jeff Rochlin, 33, pronounced every syllable of the word "comfortable" Tuesday. "We sat down at the table, and he said, 'This booth's really com-fort-a-ble,'" Mathis recalled. "Then, a little while later, he said something about the 'grilled veg-e-ta-bles.' I'm sorry, but there's no way I could date a guy like that."

We sold the two bedroom. We are still rebuilding the leaky one bedroom and have to cram all our stuff into it.

And I think I'm gay.

Weird huh?

No, really I am gay. Honest. Ask my boyfriend. He wants to go to SanFran for a 3 day love fest.