My wife just called me in to the living room.
'Come check out this chicks rack!'
Marriage can be a good thing.

Shakuhachi festival and concert was this weekend. I ended up as part of the opening part of the concert with fellow students. And who is in the audience?

Linda (head of library at EA)
Kathie (assist to head of HR at EA)
Gary (Head of Paprican - UBC lab where I worked)
and....
William Gibson and his son!!!

I played for William Gibson! We had to get on stage and bow and stuff and my legs were jello.

I'm never going to get on a stage again for the rest of my life!

But that aside, the weekend was amazing and I learned stuff to keep me busy for 2 years or so and met amazing people that I may end up working with on music projects in the near future (ie: A guy who worked with Steve Riech and who want's to get back into electronic music)

Cool.

kindergarten music reviews

frances: could you turn this off?
sarah: you don't like it?
frances: no.
sarah: a lot of people think this is a great new band.
frances: who thinks that?
sarah: i don't know. music people.
frances: i think it sounds bad. it hurts my head like a hundred dogs.

How did you get this number?
Snap out of it
You're not making any sense
You misunderstand all meaning
I'm not falling for this one
Then whose war is it anyway?
Do just what I tell you
And no one will get hurt
Don't come any closer
You're not listening to this
And just for once could you
Let me finish my sentence?
Make no sudden movements
And no one will get hurt
Now, I've had it up to here
Don't ever try that again
Why are you so quiet so suddenly?
Go on, have it
You're just dying to try me
So, what do we do now?
What do we do now?

"Phone Conversation between the Kidnapper and the Cop" - Edit by Me

How did you get this number?
I can't get my head 'round you
Of course you're not coming over
Snap out of it
You're not making any sense

You couldn't be more wrong, darling
I never gave out these signs
You misunderstand all meaning
Snap out of it
I'm not falling for this one

If love is surrender
Then whose war is it anyway?

Do just what I tell you
And no one will get hurt
Don't come any closer
'Cause I dunno how long I can hold my heart in two

If you think that it's so damn easy
Then what do you need me for?
Just look at the state of you
Babe, snap out of it
You're not listening to this

And just for once could you
Let me finish my sentence?

Do just what I tell you
And no one will get hurt
Don't come any closer
'Cause I dunno how long I can hold my heart in two

Make no sudden movements
And no one will get hurt
You're not coming over
If you know what's good for me
Why would I be leaving you?

Now, I've had it up to here
Don't ever try that again
Why are you so quiet so suddenly?
Go on, have it
You're just dying to try me

Do just what I tell you
And no one will get hurt
Don't come any closer
'Cause I dunno how long I can hold my heart in two

So, what do we do now?
What do we do now?
What do we do now?
What do we do now?

"Psychobabble" by Frou Frou

Heh. Know those Crest automatic toothbrushes? The ones you can either hold down the button to operate it manually, or you can click the button down so it spins on its own? ... Well, I'm a big fan of dental hygiene and I carry one of those Crest brushes and a big tube of toothpaste in my backpack when I'm at school [I commute].

I was in my composition class today when suddenly my backpack began to vibrate and purr/hum really LOUD. It was most definately too spastic to be a cellphone, so ppl are looking at me like I have a vibrator in my bag. Ha ha! I said, 'Shoot! Did that thing turn on!' nonchalantly. My male teacher was blushing RED as I reached into my bookbag and slowly pulled out... my toothbrush. I've never seen so many disappointed looks all in one room before.

Yesterday I shit with such fury that the force from my ass caused the toilet to flush on its own.

God damn I was proud...still am, actually.

Sign that my (first) marriage should end #24:

She: "I suppose I'd better let you, so you won't go out and rape someone."

I was completely broke and needed some quick cash to feed my nicotine habit. So I took an almost empty bottle of $4.99 shampoo, filled it with water, shook it up real good and took it back to the store and got my money back.

Damn...those sure were some humbling cigarettes.

"I've made a mental note to myself that if I'm still alive on her 82nd birthday, I'm gonna find her and fuck her up the ass.

"Now that's true love and dedication. "


Notice he didn't say if they're both still alive. That is dedication.

I think that the best I could hope for out of life, would be that when people mention my name it gets painfully quiet and tense until somebody can change the subject.

Love...

Love is when you take it up the ass, despite the fact that you have a perfectly good pussy you're dying to use instead.


Love is when you suck it, not thinking about the fact it had been up your ass just the night before.


Love is when, the next day, you have that awkward moment in which you realize you've sucked on something that's been up your ass -- and realize you don't care.


That said, I now understand why they say only fools fall in love.

my cat likes to sit on my girlf and i's laps when we use the toilet, and he's gotten used to just jumping up on the toilet seat when he sees us going in there. well i go in, lift the seat, and start to pee in the dark, only i don't hear anything hitting the water...then i hear a REEEEEOOOOOOWWWWWRRRR!!!!

turn on the light and yep...i peed on the cat.

So I get on an elevator, and there's this really attractive blonde there. She looks at me and says "T-G-I-F!" with a really big smile on her face.


I look at her, smile, and say "S-H-I-T".


She looks confused for a minute, and still smiling, says again, "T-G-I-F".


I return her smile warmly (after all, she is fine!) and repeat "S-H-I-T".


She decided I don't get it, so she says, "No, no, no. T-G-I-F. Thank God It's Friday."


I give her my best grin and says, "S-H-I-T. Sorry Honey, It's Thursday."


God, I wanted to slap her.

Brag, brag, brag. So I sez to him I sez. Brag, brag, brag:

"Can I get you another Guiness?" - Trent Reznor

"Hello Mr.D, how are you this fine day?" - Kevin Crompton

"I could sit on your lap." - Lisa Loeb

"I'm wearing silver ginch too, see?" - Sarah McLachlan

"Let's take her and her sister to the strip bar." - Tyler from BNL

"Taco Bell huh? That's some cool shit." - Method Man

"Hey guys." - Peter Buck

A lady in Vancouver recently told the police she was concerned about all the deer being killed near a "deer crossing" sign in her neighbourhood.

She asked the police to move the "deer crossing" sign to a place where it would be safer for them to cross.

"The Ninja Of Getting Hammered"

She said "I think you're hitting something down there." I told her it was her cervix. She looked at me and said "I thought the cervix was only something teenaged girls with coathangers could reach." I knew I was in trouble ...

Rhinotillexomania

Google it

There is an old Latin saying, Ars est celare arlem. This means that true art is so subtle that it looks quite natural and simple -- it does not look contrived.